Outline

*Topic:

The difficulty of comforting the pain of death/ grieving over the death may change a person.

*Main idea: (How would it change a person? )

1. cherish my current life
2. know more about death
3. strengthen one's mind

*Outline:

1.
　a. change the point of view of life
　b. make my life more meaningful (valuable/different)
　c. my accomplishments(dreams/"things to do" list)
2.
　a. share about how death is described in books
　b. asking people what do they think death is
　c. talk about why people are afraid of death
　(d. the will)

3.
　a. help others to grieve over by sharing experience
　b. some ways to stay mentally strong
　c. to be mentally strong V.S to hide all one's feelings(excessively strengthen)

*Topic:
The difficulty of comforting the pain of death/ grieving over the death may change a person.
*Main idea:
We should know more about death before it's too late when it comes to us.
*Outline:
-share about how death is described in books
-help others to grieve over by sharing experiences
-talk about self-healing process

Topic/ Main idea/ Introduction

*Topic:
-To know that grieving over(let go) isn't easy.
-How to comfort the pain of loss. (Everyone will face this problem one day.)
-How much will the experience of loss change a person. (This is more about myself, so I don't know if it's appropriate but I think this is more close to what I really want to know more about myself.)
*Main idea:
Everyone all know that when we have a problem, we need to face it, solve it, and let go it. Everyone knows that, but how many people can do it? To someone, maybe it doesn't take a lot of time, yet someone may never get through it.
*Introduction:
Since people will all leave(die) one day, we all will face loss(death), too. How many people can live like Morrie when they know they're going to die? Therefore, I think this can also be a lesson for people to learn and get a close look at it. Though it sound ridiculous, at least I think it is; why do people need to learn about death? Or learn how to say goodbye to others? Sometimes these things are just way too common to accept them when they happened to us unexpectedly. I am now one of those ridiculous people, and this made me change who I was. I don't know why and how it changed me, I'm still looking for the answer and that's why I'm doing this project. 
To talk more about this may help me broaden my mind, and maybe one day I'll suddenly realize that it's not that serious, who knows? Self-discovering is difficult, you have to find out your own strange behavior, thoughts... whatever, it's just difficult to tell if you're changed or not; also, you have to keep asking yourself questions, and answer. It's almost like philosophy. I always feel tired after thinking these stuff, I've used all my brain cell to think of questions about death, myself, my friend..., too many things stirred up in my brain, it's such a mess.
Death is the destination of our lives. I say that death isn't the end but a new start, what about you? we all have the chance to face "loss," no matter you're leaving others or others are leaving you. Try to find a best way to relax yourself to comfort the pain when it's necessary before it's too late.

advice

After the talk with teacher Hazel, she told me that my stuff is more like a "comforting the feeling of loss" ... something like that. And because my topic is more about myself, so I need to try to broaden it. Like talking more about death or self-healing, and my own experience is just a example.
She suggested that read more books about comforting the pain, grieving over the sorrow may help. And maybe I could tell others who has the same problem how to get through it, though actually I am still finding the answer, too. Helping myself and others at the same time. I'll try.

Umm..., I'm going to answer the questions, and maybe the answers can a part of my outline or my presentation.
Just like my daily speech said, this is the experience that changed my life. Before this, I was kind of more optimistic. I mean I wouldn't pretend I'm happy when I'm not, I wouldn't wear a mask on my face. After it happened, I always tried to hide myself away from others. I can't really remember how I feel, I just knew that the girl lying on the bed passed away and she is my best friend and she means a lot to me. It was too fast, it just happened rapidly, I wasn't ready for that, I never was prepared for her death. Everday seemed meanningless at first, and I was just idling away my time instead of keep going on. I have to admit I had thought of dying or something, but that's too selfish, and irresposible. I decided to live, my life and her life. I don't know if this means that I have walked through the pain or not, but what I am sure about is that I am now trying not to linger in the past. Sometime I will still think of her and I will feel sad. Not everytime when I think of her I cry, so once I cry, I must felt really sorrowful, and until there's no more tears, until my eyes are totally dry out, I no longer feel the pain. Then I'll have a nice sleep which is deep and long. I found that it is easier to think of her when I'm tired than when I'm energetic. It's kind of a circulation, I get tired, more and more tired, then I have enough rest, and day after day, I become tired again. That'so far I got to.
It took me sometime to organize these stuff in my brain, I guess they're still a mess, I always don't know how to express these things, so...that's all.

Well, I know the topic is vague, I'm still unsure about it. I'll try to figure it out soon, or maybe it can just be "a self-healing process."
How am I going to do it?
I think so far I've read books, and write down my thoughts, opinion, emotions..., these are not enough, I know, so I guess I'll find someone to talk to or ask people what do they think about death or something.

Recently I have some weird thoughts.
I was thinking that the reason why I choose this topic is because maybe I just want to prove that I didn't forget her or it's because I am afraid that I'll forget her, but when I think of my presentation, my topic, I'll think of her. I can keep all these things in my mind, also things about her, and so I won't forget her. Maybe "let go" is more appropriate than "forget," no matter which one, both of them are difficult to complete. "To let go or not" maybe can be a topic, too, I guess. Everyone have difficulties to let go something, it's really difficult to dust off only the bad parts in our memory. I'm still working on it.

Task

Possible Topics:
*How to face death?
*How to face the pain of losing someone important?
*To know what people are thinking when they know they're going to die.
*The change of one's thoughts or emotions before/after the loss.
*The way to help yourself or others to walk through the pain of loss.
Main Idea:
Because of my terrible experience of losing my best friend three years ago, something has changed. I have changed, so to me, everything has changed since then. I am kind of still really can't control the situation, and get lost inside my mind. Sometimes I really am confused and not knowing what I am doing, so I want to know more about these kind of things and try to make themselves feeling better.

Personal Experience (Observation) I

Recently, I have been busy in school stuff, so I was totally exhausted when I got home.
Tiredness, is something I don't like, because it makes me fragile, it weakens my mind. Lots of thoughts, memories, things about what had happened rush into my head. No warnings, no notifications, they just flow in my brain, and they occupy every corner of my head. They make me breathless.
Just like the quote said, "I hear some rustle of things behind my sadness of heart─I cannot see them."
Sometimes the contradictory feelings mix together, turning into a great stress that confused me, and make me depressed. I don't even know what I did whenever I was stranded in my own complicated mind.
I guess I could just find a way out by myself, before that, I'll just repeat all above again and again....  

Excerpts II
Book name: The collection of Tagore's Poems
《Stray Birds》
-If you shed tears when you miss the sun, you also miss the stars.
-I cannot choose the best.
 The best chooses me.
 They throw their shadows before them who carry their lantern on their back.
 That I exist is a perpetual surprise which is life.
-You smiled and talked to me of nothing and I felt that for this I had been waiting long.
-The mind, sharp but not broad, sticks at every point but does not move.
-Man does not reveal himself in his history, he struggles up through it.
-Life is given to us, we earn it by giving it.
-Man barricades against himself.
-This longing is for the one who is felt in the dark, but not seen in the day.
-I think of others ages that floated upon the stream of life and love and death and are forgotten, and I feel freedom of passing away.
-Death's stamp gives value to the coin of life; making it possible to buy with life what is truly precious.
-The touch of nameless days clings to my heart like mosses round the old tree.
-That which ends in exhaustion is death, but the perfect ending is in the endless.
-I hear some rustle of things behind my sadness of heart─I cannot see them.
-Gaps are left in life through which comes the sad music of death.
-Sit still, my heart, do not raise your dust.
 Let the world find its way to you.
 The bow whispers to the arrow before it speeds forth─ "Your freedom is mine."
-Let me not put myself wrongly to my world and set it against me.

I haven't finish reading the book, so there's only some quotes.
I'll try to read other books as soon as possible.

*Tuesdays with Morrie
-Shouldn't the world stop? Don't they know what has happen to me?
-He would make death his final project, the center point of his days. Since everyone was going to die, he could be of great value,right? He could be research. A human textbook. Study me in my slow patient demise. Watch what happens to me. Learn with me.
-Morrie would walk that final bridge between life and death, and narrate the trip.
-He was intent on proving that the word "dying" was not synonymous with "useless."
-In fact, the most unusual part of his life us about to unfold.
-I watched his strong body wither, then bloat, saw him suffer, night after night.
-It was the most helpless I have ever felt in my life.
-After the funeral, my life changed. I felt as if time were suddenly precious, water going down an open drain, and I could not move quickly enough.
-Accept what you are able to do and what are not able to do; Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it; Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others; Don't assume that it;s too late to get involved.

Book list

Mitch Albom, 1997, Tuesday with Morrie, US, Doubleday
Patrick Ness, 2011, A Monster Calls, London, Walker Books
Stephen Chbosky, 1999, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, US, MTV
藤井樹，2007，六弄咖啡館，商周出版
幾米，2010，想你了 你卻不知道，人民文學出版(此為作品集的其中一篇)

最近因為要做作業的關係，要看很多書，不管是看過還是沒看過的，都拿出來再看過一次。

看了很多愛情的故事

 ──距離不是問題，我隨時都在想她。《等待，是為了和妳相遇》市川拓司

很多友情的信任

──世上沒有孤獨的強者。《臥底》九把刀

很多親情的溫暖

──如今再度思念起母親，他覺得天旋地轉，幾乎快要被強烈的情緒給淹沒。《被天堂遺忘的孩子》索妮雅‧納薩瑞歐

常常我們覺得這些書很動人，很感人，大概是因為裡頭有很多振聾發聵的句子，提醒著我們。

但，對我來說，都是些看不懂的艱深詞彙。沒辦法，我只是普通人，無法從字面上去理解那些刻骨銘心的愛情、友情、親情。

什麼是刻骨銘心？只知道意思，卻無法感同身受。

某種程度，我少了這方面的感知，不知道是不是因為妳的關係？

確實，從那之後，我才愛上閱讀。

或許我該想想妳帶走了我什麼，然後給了我什麼......

Never too late

I guess it's never too late to start.

A LIFE.

So I kind of decided to write to you, and everyone who read this blog, and myself.

I'm not sure if this would work, but I hope it will because this really means a lot to me.

You know sunsets usually give us a sad feeling, at least I think so.

Maybe they probably symbolize an end of a day, or maybe one's life....

But don't forget, the sun will rise again, and this will be a new start for us to give a try.

I wish you could see those sunsets and sunrises, with me, I really do.

Pictures can never tell how beautiful it truly was.

07.07.13  18:16

07.08.13  05:03